


won't let you fall apart

by Jules1398



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Basketball, Cheerleaders, F/F, Infidelity, Injury, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 10:30:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15817083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules1398/pseuds/Jules1398
Summary: During the first game of the new basketball season, a new member of the Vixens catches Allison's eye. Unfortunately, she seems to be very close to one of the male members of the squad, Aaron Minyard. At least Allison can pursue her friendship. Besides, Allison was straight. Well, at least she thought she was.





	won't let you fall apart

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! I finally get to post this. Idk how many people will read this bc it is a rarepair but I really enjoyed writing it because it gave me a chance to explore Allison's character and various dynamics I hadn't given enough thought to previously.  
> This is part of the [aftg big bang.](http://aftgbigbang.tumblr.com/)  
> Check out [my artist!](http://galaktidong.tumblr.com/)  
> [check me out on tumblr](http://biconchase.tumblr.com/)

Allison pulled her long blond hair into a ponytail as she prepared for their first game of the season. She was a junior now, and had recently been promoted to being the starting center for the women’s basketball team. 

They were playing a smaller school from Florida, so winning would pretty much be a given, but Allison had to be amazing tonight. She had to prove that she deserved the position over the seniors that could have had it. And she had to prove that she could bring real game despite being a girl to her ex-boyfriend, Seth.

“Allison, we need to get going,” their point guard, Renee Walker said from the doorway. She was probably Allison’s best friend in the world. She was also the shortest girl on the team, standing at only 5 feet and 4 inches.

Allison followed her out to the hallway where the rest of the team was lined up and quickly took her place behind the team’s captain, Danielle Wilds.

“It’s about time,” Dan whispered back to her. “It’s showtime. This is going to be our season. Not even the Trojans will be able to stop us.”

“Can we just worry about Barry University first? I know that they’re only Division II, but it’s one step at a time,” she reasoned.

Dan shook her head. “C’mon, Reynolds. We have to dream big if we’re ever going to make it to the top, where we belong.”

The announcer’s voice sounded from the loudspeakers, announcing the starters for the other team. She took a deep breath, knowing it wouldn’t be long until they were called to enter the stadium.

Sure enough, just a moment later, the announcer called Dan’s name and number and she ran out. Allison was next.

“From New York City, we have your starting center, number 7, ALLISON REYNOLDS!”

She grinned and ran onto the court, fully aware that she looked fucking flawless, even in her white and orange uniform.

The crowd was cheering loudly and it was all for her. Albeit, it was the first game. Few members of the crowd would make it to the other games other than the one against the University of South Carolina. People just didn’t go to women’s basketball games, regardless of how successful the team was.

After all their names were called, the foxes gathered in a circle and put their arms over one another’s shoulders.

“We’re going to win today, girls!” Dan exclaimed. “This is going to be our best season yet. We’re going to return as champions at the end of the season and, for once, people here are actually going to give a shit about our team, even though we’re girls!”

“I think that might be wishful thinking,” Sarah, who was one of their forwards, muttered under her breath.

Allison snorted.

Renee launched into some speech about faith and, as much as Allison loved her best friend, she couldn’t help but zone off.

She finally caught a glance at this year’s Vixens. Most of them were familiar faces, but there were two new people on the squad. One was a boy with auburn hair, blue eyes, and scars littered across his face. 

The other was a girl, her dark brown hair pulled up into a high ponytail. Her eyes were a slightly lighter brown, the color of milk chocolate. She was fairly short, but obviously very muscular. After all, anyone who said cheerleaders weren’t “real” athletes were fucking liars. The shit they could do was absolutely incredible.

Allison’s trance was broken back her teammates shifting her left and fight while chanting. She joined them, once again getting riled up for the game.

* * *

The game went just as well as she expected. They won by quite a lot. She made some good plays, but so did the rest of the girls on the team. They played their weaker players a lot during the fourth quarter, since they were up by so much, so Allison didn’t get as much playtime as she typically would, which was fine. She loved her teammates and they all deserved a place on the court.

The problem was, when Allison was sitting on the bench, she couldn’t keep her eyes on the court and properly cheer on her teammates. The thing was, she kept looking toward the cheerleader with the dark brown hair,

She spent half the game giggling, which Allison didn’t really get. Her companion of choice seemed to be  _ Aaron Minyard _ , who was another cheerleader and probably the least cheerful person that Allison had ever met in her life. Maybe the cheerleader girl really enjoyed sarcasm and brash, borderline offensive statements absolutely hilarious.

Throughout her shower, Allison pondered this. She didn’t understand what was so great about the Minyard boy. In fact, she found  _ both _ of the Minyard twins to be complete, utter jackasses. 

But the cheerleader seemed to get along with him well enough. Maybe she was secretly a jackass too. Maybe she was just being polite. Allison supposed that she shouldn’t judge the girl. She didn’t even know her name, much less the reasons why she enjoyed Aaron’s company.

Like usual, Allison was the last one out of the shower. But, this time, Renee was waiting on a bench in the changing room, fiddling with the cross that was hanging from her neck.

“You’re still here,” Allison stated, feeling surprised.

Renee nodded. “I didn’t want you to have to walk back to the apartment alone, since Dan and Matt went to dinner with the car.”

She removed the towel and began dressing. Renee didn’t mind. They were best friends and roommates, so it was nothing that she hadn’t seen before. 

“I’m a big girl,” Allison pointed out as she applied deodorant under her arms. “I can walk home on my own. It isn’t that far.”

“Seth is here,” Renee clarified. “I think he wants to apologize again. That’s why I didn’t want to leave you here alone.”

Allison rolled her eyes. “I don’t understand why he can’t get a hint. It’s over for real this time. He can’t act like he doesn’t give a shit about me and expect me to run back into his arms.”

“I mean, you usually do,” Renee pointed out.

She glared at the shorter girl. “Not this time.”

Renee nodded. “Not this time,” she repeated, probably not believing a word that Allison said about it.

They walked out of the locker room together in the direction of their apartment. Allison’s long blond hair was still a bit wet, but it wasn’t an issue because South Carolina was hardly cold even in November, especially compared to New York, where she had grown up.

“Allison, you played great today,” said a familiar voice from behind them.

She rolled her eyes before turning around and offering him a fake smile. “I know,” she said. “I’m fucking talented.”

Seth was visibly uncomfortable with her confidence. “Can you cut the narcissistic crap so we can talk?” he asked.

“Try again later,” Allison snapped before turning around and strutting away with Renee. God, she wanted nothing to do with that asshole, even if she did kind of love him.

* * *

Every Sunday, Dan, Renee, and Allison had an apartment breakfast together. Matt joined them most of the time now, seeing as he spent more time in Dan’s room than in his own. Allison didn’t mind him being there, though. He was a fantastic cook and his talents combined with Renee’s resulted in paradise on a plate.

He had stayed over the night before, so Sunday breakfast would be delightful. As soon as Renee returned from church, the two of them got to work as she and Dan watched TV in the living room like the lazy people they were.

Renee called them to the table and they all sat together, scooping up eggs, bacon, and waffles to put onto their plates.

“So did you guys meet the new Vixens?” Matt asked with a mouth full of eggs. He was on the men’s basketball team, so he had also gotten a chance to interact with the cheerleaders.

“We saw them,” Dan replied with a shrug. “There was a new boy and a new girl, right?”

Matt nodded. “Yep. And you know how me and Seth got a new roommate this year? It’s the boy. Neil Josten.”

“I’m sure Seth isn’t too pleased about that,” Allison remarked with a roll of her eyes. Her ex-boyfriend could be homophobic at times, especially when in close quarters with gay men. God, once a gay waiter hit on him and she had to sneak back into the restaurant after their date had ended to give him his tip.

“He says he doesn’t swing,” Matt replied. “Nicky from next door asked. Even though he already has a boyfriend, which I don’t really get.”

“Plus, not all male cheerleaders are gay,” Renee pointed out. “That’s just a stereotype.”

“Listen,” Allison interjected. “In my own personal experience, male cheerleaders are either gay or complete fucking assholes. Occasionally, they’re both at once.”

“I think that you need to give people more chances,” Renee suggested, lightly setting a hand on her knee. If anyone else had said it, Allison would have been pissed, but it was coming from her best friend, so she decided to calm down. Renee was probably right anyway.

“Do you know anything about the other new cheerleader? The girl with the brown hair?” she asked rather than continuing the old conversation.

“She was hanging out with the monsters next door the other day,” he answered. “I think she and Aaron are friends or something.”

“Ugh why?” Dan asked, her mouth full of eggs. “Aaron is kind of a dick, even though I appreciate his support for our team.”

“Beats me,” Matt said with a shrug. “Those Minyard twins are evil, I swear. Their cousin is at least somewhat bearable.”

“Andrew isn’t so bad,” Renee defended.

“He’s pretty obnoxious on the court,” Matt argued. “You just see the good in everyone, Renee.”

“Well, in my opinion, he isn’t as bad as the rest of you make him out to be,” she stated. “Perhaps, if you gave him a chance, then he would surprise you.”

“Unlikely,” the other three said in unison before returning to their meals. What she saw in Andrew, none of them really understood.

Renee Walker had to be the nicest person on the planet, but sometimes people just sucked. So what if they had a shitty background? Matt, Renee, Dan, and Allison all had awful pasts, but they still found it within themselves not to be complete and utter douchebags.

* * *

Allison finally met the brown-haired cheerleader when she went on her tri-weekly gym trip with Matt. When they had first started working out together, Renee, Dan, and Seth had gone with them. Seth stopped going first, since he always got butthurt when Allison lifted more than he did. Renee and Dan merely got busy, with Renee focusing more on her classes and Dan becoming the captain.

Still, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Matt and Allison found their way to the gym together, regardless of whether they were joined by their friends or, more likely, not. If there was a game on a workout day, they would reschedule it. The gym was good for their personal health routines and for their friendship.

Today was a Monday, aka leg day. They had quickly learned that doing arm day on Mondays was a bad idea because that’s what everyone else seemed to do.

So, the two of them made their way to the squat rack and began to set it up for Matt, as it was his turn to squat first while she spotted for him.

They were only on their third set when she walked in, with one of the twins at her side. It was probably Aaron, as his arms were bare and Andrew always seemed to be wearing long black armbands, even on the court.

Matt waved to them as they walked in, to which Aaron offered a curt nod out of politeness. The girl, however, was much more friendly. She grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him toward where they were working out.

“Hi!” she chirped. “Your Aaron’s neighbor, right? Matt Boyd? From the basketball team?”

“Yep,” he replied with a big smile. “And this is my dear friend, Allison. She’s on the women’s team with my girlfriend.”

“I’m Katelyn,” the girl told her, offering her hand, while Allison shook with a grin. Katelyn was a beautiful name, no matter the spelling.

“I saw you at the game. You’re amazing,” Allison said, practically cringing at her own bluntness. Hopefully, they thought she was talking about the flips and stunts, not something else.

Katelyn blushed and looked down. “Thank you. You’re pretty talented yourself.”

“Look,” Aaron interrupted. “Are we going to go upstairs and run or are we gonna chat away the rest of our day.”

“I should go,” she said, pointing toward the stairs that Aaron had already begun walking toward. “It was nice seeing you, Matt. Lovely to meet you, Allison!”

She jogged a little to catch up with him. He said something that Allison couldn’t quite hear and Katelyn giggled at whatever it was. She still didn’t get it. Aaron wasn’t that funny of a guy.

She turned toward Matt. “Since when is Aaron funny?”

“What did he say that was funny?” Matt asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

Allison gestured toward the stairs. “Katelyn was laughing at something he said, but I can’t recall a single time where he’s said something that was funny.”

“I mean, I guess he has his occasional moments,” Matt reasoned. “Why are you so concerned about it?”

“I am  _ not _ concerned,” Allison replied, wrinkling her nose. “I was just wondering.”

Matt gave her a strange look for a moment, but dropped it. She was grateful for that part of her friendship with Matt. He didn’t think it was his business to know anything unless she told him.

Allison lifted a bit less than usual for the remainder of the workout. Her mind wasn’t in it. Images of Katelyn and Aaron running kept popping into her mind, and it was quite distracting. Allison was just a bit curious. Who the hell was this girl?

* * *

That Thursday, Allison had finished her homework early, since she had mandatory tutoring hours that afternoon, and found herself with nothing to do after dinner. So, like usual she turned to her laptop.

She started out innocently enough, watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, but she got bored of that after only a few videos. As curious as ever, she decided to look Katelyn up and see who she really was.

It wasn’t long before Allison realized that she had absolutely no idea as to what her last name was. She considered asking Matt, but he probably wouldn’t know either, so she decided that she’d just work around it,

Allison went into incognito mode on chrome and typed. “Caitlyn palmetto state” into the search bar. She clicked through a few Facebook pages, but none of them was the girl she was looking for.

Maybe she had spelled it incorrectly. She tried “Catelyn” and “Kaitlin” and “Caitlin,” but none of them seemed to be the girl that she was looking for. She was so engrossed in her search for the cheerleader that she didn’t notice Renee walking into the room and flopping onto her bed.

“Maybe try looking up the Vixen’s roster,” she suggested, causing Allison to jump and slam her laptop shut.

“How long have you been laying there?!” Allison exclaimed. “I thought you were skyping Jean?”

Renee shrugged. “A few minutes. Jean had to go on a Target run with Jeremy, Laila, and Alvarez. Something about an ice cream related emergency.”

“Well, you can’t just-” Allison started, trying her best not to sound as uncomfortable as she felt.

“Allison, it’s fine. I’m not going to judge you for anything,” Renee assured her. “After all, you’re my best friend.”

She nodded hesitantly. “I guess looking up the squad roster might be a good idea.”

Allison lifted her fingers back to the keyboard and quickly found the Vixen’s roster on the Palmetto State website. There she was, halfway down the list: Katelyn Fortini, from Chicago.

“There you go,” Renee said with a smile. “You found her.”

Allison copied the name into the search bar and looked through Facebook profiles. She was the first one on there due to a mutual friend, which was some girl on the Vixens named Marissa. She debated adding her as a friend, but then started moving her mouse toward the corner to close the window.

Renee grabbed her hand before she could get that far. “Allison, a friend request could never hurt. It’s Facebook. I bet you don’t even know half of the friends you have on there, so you won’t be all that obvious.”

“I guess you’re right,” Allison nodded. She moved her mouse down to the “Add Friend” button and pressed it as quickly as possible. Her heart was racing and she had no idea why. Allison Jamaica Reynolds was many things, and  _ shy _ wasn’t one of them.

Renee held her hand out for a high five and Allison smacked it, a smile beginning to form on her face. It probably meant nothing, but she had done it. Allison had made her first step towards friendship with the elusive Katelyn Fortini.

* * *

The men’s team had a home game that Saturday and Allison, Renee, and Dan all decided to go together. The women’s team had an away game the evening before, but it was at Wake Forest, so they hadn’t stayed overnight.

They sat near the front of the student section so that they could be supportive of Matt. Allison knew that Seth wouldn’t approach her during a game, so there was no stress that came with sitting near the front.

That was, until the Vixens walked in and started cheering right near where they were sitting. Allison could feel herself begin to sweat. Katelyn still hadn’t responded to her friend request and it had been a few days, so she had probably seen it and chosen not to answer.

Allison tried to ignore her and focus on the game, but she found herself making eye contact more often than she was comfortable with. At least Aaron wasn’t there that day, since only half the cheerleaders went to each game if it wasn’t football. That was her saving grace. She didn’t have to worry about her laughing at his nonexistent sense of humor.

The boys were playing the big rivalry game against the University of South Carolina and, well, it wasn’t going too fantastically. Their coach, David Wymack, looked as if he was about to tear the hair from his scalp with all the stupid plays they were making.

Kevin Day, who was one of the posts, the other being Seth, seemed equally as irritated, even though he was a big part of the problem. Each player individually was outstanding, but they couldn’t play together, which had cost them countless losses over the past few years.

By the end of the half, they were losing by 15 points, and they seemed to be exhausted as a red-faced Wymack silently led them into the locker room so he could go off at his team in peace.

The cheerleaders put on a little routine that was, admittedly, super cute, though at this point Allison knew that she might be a bit biased.

After it was over, Katelyn ran up toward them with a grin plastered across her face. “Hi Allison!” she chirped. “And these are your teammates, right? Danielle and Renee?”

“You can call me Dan if you’d like,” Dan said before shaking her hand. Renee shook her hand next with a polite smile on her face.

“So, the game could be going better, I suppose,” Katelyn sighed.

They all hummed in agreement. “Matt is going to be less than thrilled tonight,” Dan complained.

“I don’t get it,” Katelyn shrugged. “Your team plays well both individually and together and these boys can’t work together, and it shows in the rankings. Yet, there are four times as many people at their games than yours.”

“That’s sexism for you,” Allison groaned. “They could literally sleep on the court and have a higher turnout, just because it’s men’s basketball.”

“And you girls seem so much nicer than they are too,” she continued, shaking her head. “Like, Matt has to be the nicest guy on the team, followed by Nicky. Kevin can be bearable on occasion.”

“Andrew isn’t so bad,” Renee said with a shrug.

Katelyn gave her a confused look. “He’s always absolutely awful to me, but that might just be because he’s protective of his brother and I’m not in that little group of theirs.”

“Well, there’s plenty of room in our group if you ever need anyone to hang out with,” Allison offered, hoping that she didn’t sound too desperate for a friend, or maybe more.

“I might take you up-” she started before one of the Vixens shouted her name. “Oops. I have to go. Bye, guys!”

They said their goodbyes as she ran toward her team, her brown ponytail bouncing with each step that she took.

“She seems nice,” Dan said after she was out of earshot. “Maybe she can balance Aaron out, since he’s kind of a jerk.”

Renee nodded in agreement. “Katelyn does seem to be pretty lovely.”

‘She is,” Allison stated, not taking her eyes off of the cheerleader as she was lifted into the air by one of the boys on the squad.

* * *

On Tuesday night, Renee leaped onto Allison’s bed with a grin on her face. “I’ve got amazing news,” she announced.

“What is it?” she asked, as she scrolled through her Instagram feed.

“Seth is going home for this weekend, since they have a bye week and, since our game is tomorrow night, Matt is planning on throwing a party on Friday night.”

Allison looked up from her phone. “But you don’t drink? How is this amazing news for you?”

“You need it,” she reasoned. “I can have fun at a party even without drinking. After all, my friends are going to be there.”

She sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “I’m not sure if I’m up for it, Renee. Can’t we just like, chill here and watch chick flicks instead?”

Renee rubbed her chin for a moment. “What if I said that a certain cheerleader is probably going to be there?”

“Why should I care?” Allison muttered.

“You like her,” Renee stated. At this point, it was a fact that they both knew to be true, even if Allison wasn’t quite ready to accept it. “It’s perfectly natural. She’s nice and you think that she’s cute.”

“I like boys, Renee,” Allison protested. “Maybe I’m just lonely since this whole thing with Seth ended.”

Renee rested a hand upon her shoulder and lightly rubbed it. “You’re allowed to like both, Allison. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But that’s not me,” Allison lied, more to herself than anyone else. “Maybe I should just call Seth.”

“No!” Renee yelled, eyes widening as she smacked Allison’s phone onto the bed. “Things with him haven’t been good in a long time. I can’t watch him tear you apart anymore.”

“Nobody has loved me as much as he did,” she argued, but Renee just shook her head.

“You can do better than Seth,” she assured her. “Maybe there will be some guy at the party worth spending time with. Who knows?”

“I guess I can give it a try,” she shrugged.

Renee’s phone started buzzing in her hand. She grinned before answering it and mouthing ‘it’s Jean’ to Allison before walking out of the room and closing the door behind her.

With the room empty, Allison got to thinking about Renee’s words. Surely she couldn’t be attracted to girls. Chances are that, if she was, she probably would’ve known by the time her third year of college came around.

Hesitantly, Allison pulled out her laptop and went into incognito mode, since she wasn’t sure that she wanted the site she was planning on visiting in her search history. She pulled her earbuds off the nightstand and quickly shoved them into the headphone jack and putting them on.

With a deep breath, Allison pulled up PornHub and clicked over to the lesbian videos, even though she knew that the girls in the videos probably weren’t really into other girls anyway. She scrolled for a while in an attempt to find one that suited her needs, but with each thumbnail, she felt more and more disgusted with herself until she closed out of the tab and slammed her computer shut. 

Fuck it. She could try to sort through her feelings later. If she wasn’t straight, this wasn’t the way that she wanted to figure it out, especially because of all the harm the porn industry had done to women.

Allison knew, in the back of her mind, that there was a  _ possibility _ that she might be attracted to girls, but she also knew that, if she had gone twenty years without knowing, then it could wait a little longer.

* * *

Matt was a friendly guy. Sure, Dan, Renee, and Allison were his closest friends, but it seemed as if he knew everyone on campus and got along well with most of them. So, as expected, the party was an absolute rager.

It was spread between a few apartments on Matt’s floor, namely his and the one that Minyard and his crew lived it. There was also one across the hall that belonged to a few of the senior Vixens, but that one had the smallest concentration of people present. The landlord didn’t seem to mind all the underage drinking and the potential drug use going on in his building, but that was probably because he also got along well with Matt and he knew that they would clean up after themselves.

Allison had dressed up for this party, as she was intent on hooking up, wearing a full face of makeup, a skimpy dress, and designer shoes with six inch heels. She looked fierce as fuck and any guy who hooked up with her was fucking lucky.

As soon as they walked into the apartment, an already tipsy Matt ran up to them and wrapped the three of them in a big hug. “I’m so happy that you made it!” he exclaimed, before turning to Dan and planting a big kiss to her lips.

“Are you drunk already?” Dan laughed after he finally pulled away.

Matt shook his head. “Not yet. I promise,” he somewhat slurred. She was going to have her hands full tonight.

Dan stayed back with Matt while Renee and Allison continued deeper into the crowded room. There were people everywhere, which was pretty typical of Matt’s party. Allison was scouting out the room, looking for hot guys, when Renee tugged on her wrist and pointed toward the kitchen, where Andrew and Neil were leaning against a counter and chatting, neither of them seeming to be very amused.

“Let’s go say hi,” Renee suggested. “I haven’t had a chance to chat with Andrew since we last sparred like two weeks ago.”

Allison grimaced. “I still don’t see why you spar with the violent bastard.”

She shrugged. “He’s my friend, though he’d never admit it. You should give him a chance. He might surprise you.”

“I seriously doubt it,” Allison replied. “Go ahead and talk to them. I’m gonna walk around.”

Renee gave her a quick hug before leaving to got talk to Andrew. Allison continued to make her way through the crowded living room.

“Allison Reynolds, your boyfriend is a dick,” slurred a very wasted Kevin Day as soon as she was within eyesight. “We’re losing because he’s all up in his own ego and can’t fucking pass to me.”

“Me and Seth aren’t together anymore,” she informed him with her hands on her hips. “For that exact reason, actually. He’s a narcissistic dick.”

“You’ve been broken up for what? Two weeks now?” Kevin replied. “I think that’s a new record. Good job.”

She rolled her eyes. “We’re broken up for good this time, Kevin.”

“Just like last time and the time before?” he asked.

“You’re an ass,” she said.

“I’m just stating the facts,” Kevin defended.

Allison pushed past him rather than responding. He was fucking wasted and she preferred not to get involved in an argument with him if she could avoid it, especially since it seemed like he was the golden child of PSU.

So far, she hadn’t found any guys that she really wanted to pursue. Maybe she wasn’t over Seth yet. Perhaps she needed a few more weeks until she was ready to hook up with someone new,

She turned on her heels, ready to find Renee and tell her that she was going to head out and enjoy a night in instead, but she saw something out of the corner of her eye, something that she would have preferred not to see.

Aaron had Katelyn against a wall and they were making out and grinding against one another, her hands tangled in his blond hair.

She looked good, from what Allison could see. Her hair was down and she was wearing a small nose ring in her right nostril. She was wearing a strappy black dress, but the left strap had fallen off her shoulder.

“We should go,” suggested a voice behind her. Renee.

Allison nodded in agreement without saying a word and followed her best friend out of the apartment and down the street toward the apartment complex in which they lived.

As they walked, Allison couldn’t shake the pain that she felt in her shattered heart. She was extremely jealous, and she definitely couldn’t deny it. At least now she knew one thing for certain.

She was attracted to girls as well as boys. Allison Reynolds was bisexual.

* * *

The next day, Allison just kind of slept. She woke up for the first time at noon, ate a sandwich and quickly returned to her room to go back to sleep, since she wasn’t quite ready to face the day yet. Renee had woken her up at three to ask if she was okay, and she said she was fine before drifting back to sleep.

Now, it was seven and Allison had finally summoned the energy to lift herself out of bed, once again heading toward the kitchen, because she was half starved.

She wandered into the kitchen and grabbed some leftover lasagna from the fridge as well as a fork before sitting down at the table and eating the cold pasta straight from the tupperware container that it was in.

She heard a shriek from the living room and wandered in there to investigate the sound. All the lights were off, but Matt and Dan’s faces were illuminated by the light of the TV, which was playing some cheesy horror flick.

Allison considered walking inside and sitting on the couch with them to watch the movie. She knew that they certainly wouldn’t really mind. Movie night was for all.

But, at the same time, she didn’t want to interrupt. They were in their own little bubble of love and they just looked so cozy. Matt looked terrified and was draped around Dan, who sat there smiling and occasionally popping pieces of popcorn into her mouth as she gave her boyfriend all of the comfort that he required.

Having finished her pasta, Allison went back into the kitchen. She quickly washed out the tupperware container and her fork and placed them both on the drying rack. Then, she realized she didn’t really have anything better to do, so she grabbed a dish towel and dried them before neatly placing them in their respective places. 

Silently, she wondered how much time had passed since she had gotten out of bed. She checked her phone, only to see that it was only 7:30. Oh, and there was a text from Kevin that contained an aggressively unfunny meme about drinking that a middle-aged suburban mom would share on Facebook. She swiped to reply and only sent the rolling eyes emoji. 

Allison decided to go to Renee’s room next and see what she was doing. Maybe they could watch a movie of their own. After all, it felt like a chick flick and ice cream sort of night.

Renee’s sunny laughter filled the hall before Allison even reached her bedroom. She stood in the doorway and glanced in. Renee was lying in her bed with a huge grin on her face, staring at her laptop and listening to Jean talk excitedly about all his friends at USC.

They were on opposite ends of the country and came from different continents, yet they still managed to make it work. Renee and Jean were as happy as ever together, even though they rarely saw one another in a capacity bigger than a computer screen. Allison couldn’t keep a boyfriend when they did live near one another, she couldn’t imagine what Renee and Jean must have gone through together to have such a strong connection.

Interrupting them would be even worse than interrupting Matt and Dan, even though she knew that they wouldn’t mind much either. She just didn’t want to be a bother. Sure, being in the spotlight was one of Allison’s favorite things, but not when it meant taking anything away from her friends, who were the people that she cared about most.

She sighed before walking into her own bedroom and flopping down on the bed. All her friends were in love and she was happy for them, but at the same time, it made her feel a bit empty inside. Because she wanted that too. And she couldn’t have it. She couldn’t have the girl she liked and she couldn’t even manage to keep her shitty on and off boyfriend for more than a few weeks, not that she needed him anyway.

Everyone around her seemed happy, but Allison was alone.

Her phone buzzed with a text.

 

_ Kevin (7:38) _

_ yo do you want to come over and get trashed w me?? _

 

Allison debated it for a moment, but she had nothing better to do on a Saturday night and she knew that she wouldn’t be falling asleep anytime soon, so she typed a quick “yes” before forcing herself out of bed and toward her closet. Sure, she felt like shit, but she wasn’t going to look it.

* * *

When she knocked on his door, Allison was wearing a tiny hot pink dress that was probably a size too small for her and strappy gold heels. Her eyeliner was turned up into a fierce point that could probably cut ice. Kevin and whoever else was there would be stunned. God, she hoped that Katelyn was over.

Kevin answered the door and blinked for a moment before looking down at what he was wearing, which was a ratty old t-shirt and gray sweatpants. “Please tell me that you didn’t invite anyone else,” he pleaded upon seeing how she was dressed.

“Just me. I usually like to save the looking like trash part for after I finish drinking,” she shrugged. 

Kevin rolled his eyes and led her inside. “I figured that it would just be us, so it didn’t really matter. Andrew is next door for whatever reason and Aaron is out with his girlfriend. I think Nicky went clubbing or something.”

“I don’t really care,” she replied. “The only thing I’m focused on is where the tequila is.”

“Is vodka okay?” Kevin asked as he backed into the kitchen.

Allison nodded. “You know that I would never turn down free booze, Kevin.”

He chuckled as he pulled out two cups and the bottle and started pouring. “Amen to that. I think that Nicky gave this to me for my birthday last year, so it’s free for both of us.”

Kevin screwed the bottle shut and handed her a cup before grabbing his own cup and the bottle. They made their way to the living room and sat on the couch.

After a moment, Kevin turned toward her. “Did you dress up for me?” he asked.

She choked on her drink and erupted into laughter. “Please, Kevin. You know that I don’t dress for anyone by myself. I’m wearing this because it makes me looks hot as hell and I want to  _ feel _ hot as hell.”

“You’re already so confident, though,” Kevin pointed out.

Allison snorted. “Yeah, no. Fake it till you make it is a fantastic philosophy, but I’m still stuck on the “fake it” phase.”

Kevin nodded in understanding before reaching for the remote. “What do you want to watch?”

“Anything,” she shrugged, which was a mistake because Kevin chose some World War II documentary that she knew that was probably going to make her want to get twice as drunk.

She was right. The documentary was fucking boring and she did drink more than she had originally planned to, desperately hoping Nicky would show up to coax Kevin into doing something more fun.

There was a knocking at the door and she burst to her feet to answer it. Kevin seemed okay with it, as he was enthralled by the sight of a 60 year old man going on and on about “the Japs.”

When she opened the door, she was greeted with familiar soft brown eyes.

“Allison,” Seth breathed upon seeing her standing there. Suddenly she wished that she had brought a jacket to cover herself up a bit more.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“I live next door,” he pointed out, before sparing a glance down at her body. “Are you fucking him?” Seth asked.

Allison shook her head. “No, I just came over for a drink.”

“Good. I’m glad that Day knows his place, which is away from my girl,” he replied, looking over to where Kevin was sitting on the couch.

She moved her hands to her hips. “I’m not your girl, Seth.”

He frowned. “Hasn’t it been long enough, baby? You know that I want you back. I’m sorry, Allison. I really am.”

“Sorry for what?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sorry that you feel hurt and I’m sorry that we broke up,” he clarified.

She nodded. “That sounds about right. Let me tell you what you actually should be sorry about. First off, you know that you’re supposed to be off drugs yet you fucking do shit behind my back when I can’t help you. In addition to that, you were ditching me every time we made plans to do said drugs. And finally, you don’t fucking listen to me or give a shit about me.”

“I’m sorry about all of that,” Seth insisted.

Allison stood up on her tiptoes and put her lips by his ear. “Sorry isn’t good enough,” she whispered. “I’m over you, so you better find a new girl’s heart to break, because I can’t do this again.”

Seth shook his head. “Allison, please. I’ll be better this time. I promise.”

“Did you come over here for a reason?” she snapped. “Or was it just to annoy whoever was here.”

“I needed sugar,” he explained.

“You don’t cook,” she pointed out.

“I’m willing to try it for pot brownies,” Seth clarified,

Allison rolled her eyes. “Sorry, Kevin is fresh out of sugar,” she lied. He probably had sugar, seeing as Nicky was a fantastic cook.

“Okay, no pot brownies, that’s fine,” he said. “Can we at least talk some more, babe?”

“Don’t fucking call me that,” she gritted out.

“You won’t mind me calling you that in a few days, after you come running back to me,” he told her, stepping toward her.

“Leave her alone,” came a voice from behind him.  _ Katelyn _ .

Seth turned around and, sure enough, she was standing there. Aaron must have been drunk out of his mind because he was leaning on her for support.

“Don’t get involved,” he mumbled. “They do this like twice a month.”

Katelyn didn’t listen to him. “Allison is obviously uncomfortable with how you’re talking to her, so I think you need to give her some space and go back to wherever you came from.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Seth asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Her friend,” Katelyn replied. “And I’m probably speaking for most everyone here when I say that you should take a fucking hint and leave.”

“Well, I’m her boyfriend,” Seth asserted. “So I think I know what she likes.”

“You are most certainly  _ not _ my boyfriend,” Allison argued. “I thought they taught the past tense in like second grade. If not, I’m pretty sure you learn “x” in kindergarten.”

“We’re on and off,” he explained.

“Permanently off,” she told Katelyn.

“So, what it sounds like to me is that you’re harassing your ex-girlfriend because you can’t accept that she’s totally over you,” Katelyn asserted. “Act like a grown up and scamper on home.”

Seth’s fist clenched at his side. “We were just talking.”

“I don’t think Allison wanted to talk,” Kevin said from behind her. “Go home, Seth.”

He looked at the people around him before sighed and going back into his apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Well, he seems like a dick,” Katelyn commented as she lifted Aaron inside.

“He is,” the three of them said in unison.

She turned to Aaron. “Do you need help getting to bed.

He shook his head and made a beeline for the couch, flopping down on his stomach and pulling one of the pillows under his head. Katelyn stared at him for a moment, seeming mildly concerned.

“He’ll be fine,” Kevin assured her. “He sleeps on the couch like twice a week, between drinking and studying.”

She turned to Allison. “Do you want a ride home?” she offered.

“I can walk. It’s fine,” she replied.

“I live in the dorms, so your apartment is on the way,” Katelyn reasoned. “I don’t know if I want you walking home alone tonight so either I drive you there or Kevin walks with you.”

Allison offered her a slight smile. “A ride sounds nice then. Thanks a million.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Katelyn replied with a smile on her face.

They said goodbye to Kevin and made their way down to Katelyn’s car, which was a messy little silver car that looked like it would barely run. There were a few receipts scattered around on the car floor.

“Sorry about the mess,” she apologized. “I haven’t cleaned it out in a few weeks and my roommate and I keep making Target and Starbucks runs.”

“It’s not a problem,” Allison assured her. “I’m grateful for the ride, no matter how messy it is.”

Katelyn stuck her key in the ignition and twisted it to start the door before glancing behind her and pulling out into the street.

“So, how long were the two of you together?” she asked. “He seemed to be totally obsessed with you in like the creepiest way possible.”

“We were on and off for a little over two years,” Allison answered, unable to hold back the regret in her voice. She should have ditched Seth a long time ago.

“Wow.” Katelyn raised her eyebrows. “Meanwhile I’ve been dating Aaron for like a week and I’m already having my doubts. That guy is definitely way worse than Aaron could ever be.”

“He’s not so bad,” Allison shrugged. “Well, not usually. We had some good times together, but we also had some awful ones. It’s time for both of us to move on.”

The other girl nodded. “I think that seems like a good decision.”

“What about you and Aaron?” she asked. “You’re already having issues?”

“Yes and no, I guess,” Katelyn said with a sigh.

“Hmmm?”

“Well, it’s not on Aaron,” she started. “Aaron is perfect. He’s nice to me and he likes me. It’s fantastic. Except, I feel like I’m not as interested in him as I should be. Here’s this boy and he’s absolutely perfect to me. All my friends say I should go for it and then I do and I feel absolutely nothing when we kiss.”

“You seemed interested on Friday,” Allison pointed out.

Katelyn wrinkled her nose, which was incredibly cute. “He was interested. I was pretending. I want to be interested, it’s just not happening. But I feel like I care about him more than anything. I just don’t understand it.”

“You can’t force yourself to be attracted to him,” she pointed out.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “I talked to Neil about it because he’s demisexual and he says that it’s possible that I could be ace spec too but I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel like the right label for me.”

“You don’t have to figure it out now. You have all the time in the world,” Allison assured her.

Katelyn bit her lip. “I just don’t want to break his heart. He’s been through a lot of shit at home and I don’t want to end up making his life even worse.”

“You can’t worry about him. Your sexuality is about you, and you only.”

“I guess,” Katelyn sighed. “I know that this is impossible, but I just want everybody to be happy.”

“But what about your own happiness?” Allison asked as Katelyn pulled in front of her building.

“I’m happy when others are happy,” she replied, but it didn’t sound like she meant it.

Allison unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out of the car. “Remember that your happiness is important too,” she told her. “And thank you for the ride.”

“Of course,” Katelyn said with a smile. “I’ll see you Thursday night when you kick those Belmont girls’ sorry butts.”

“See you then,” she replied before closing the car door and waving goodbye to her. Allison turned to walk back into her apartment. A sliver of hope filled her heart. She knew that it was wrong to think this, but she felt like she actually had a chance with Katelyn, even if she was with Aaron. Something in Katelyn’s life appeared to be missing, and maybe Allison could be the one to fill that gap.

* * *

Belmont was one of the best teams in their division and the game would truly be a challenge, but Coach Winfield had been working their asses off in practice all week and they were ready. The Belmont Bruins were going down.

Allison waved at Katelyn when she walked onto the court, which was probably a bit unprofessional, but she didn’t really care. Katelyn smiles and waved back before Neil nudged her and she turned to hype up the crowd.

Renee pulled her into the team huddle and they did their usual pregame traditions and, suddenly, it was time to play.

Despite how ready Allison though she was, she got pulled out halfway through the second quarter. She kept fouling and she couldn’t land a fucking shot, which was a recipe for disaster. She wasn’t focused. Allison’s mind was on everything that had happened the previous weekend and she couldn’t fully put her attention on the game. God, she was playing like shit.

“Is something wrong, Allison?” Coach Winfield asked after she got back to the bench.

Allison shrugged. “I’m just having a bad day, I guess.”

“You know, Betsy Dobson down at the counseling office offers free sessions for students and she works with the athletes here a lot,” she reminded her.

“I don’t need it,” Allison insisted. “I’m completely okay.”

Coach Winfield gave her a worried look. “Okay, well at least you know the option is there. And, if you want, you can tell me about anything that might be bothering you too.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she replied, mostly just to get her to leave her alone.

Coach nodded and her attention returned to the game in front of her. Allison caught Katelyn’s eye. She looked worried. Maybe she had somehow sensed that something was up, but there was no way that she knew that she was the reason that Allison’s head was all over the place.

At the half, after the Foxes had returned from the locker room, Katelyn ran up to Allison, hair bobbing with every step.

“Are you doing okay?” she asked.

“I’m doing fine,” Allison assured her. “Why?”

“Your game is off,” she replied. “And you look like your head is in the clouds. I’m an athlete too. I know the look.”

“I can’t focus,” Allison admitted.

Katelyn reached forward and grasped Allison’s hands, giving them a small squeeze. “You can. I believe in you. You’re going to get back in there and you’re going to crush it!”

“I’ll try my best but-” Allison started.

“Nope,” Katelyn interrupted. “You’re going to kick ass out there. If you have no other reason to stay determined, then just do it for me.”

Allison nodded. “I’m going to kick their sorry asses,” she said. “All for you.”

Katelyn’s red lips pulled into a smile. “Go get ‘em,” she said, giving Allison’s hands one last squeeze before running back to the rest of the Vixens.

“Reynolds,” Coach Winfield called. “You’re back in. Show those girls who’s boss.”

Allison put on her game face and ran to her position to set up for the jump ball. Renee smiled when she saw her on the court, finally with some real determination.

All thoughts of the drama in Allison’s life fled her mind. She was focused on one thing: winning this game for Katelyn. Maybe this was just the first step toward winning her heart.

She won the ball and then she was truly back in it, landing shot after shot and reveling in the swish of the basket each time. Allison probably scored more than she ever had before, and that was only in one half.

The ended up crushing the Belmont Bruins 84-61. It was a complete blowout and the crowd went wild. The Foxes were a force to be reckoned with when they were on their game and Dan had been right. This was their year.

After Allison and Renee left the locker room, Katelyn was waiting in the hallway, a light jean jacket over her cheer uniform.

“Hey,” Allison breathed upon seeing her.

“Hey,” Katelyn echoed with a smile.

“Hi!” Renee chirped before turning to Allison. “Jean asked me to call him after the game was over, so I’m going to go do that.”

It was obviously a lie to give them some alone time, and Allison kind of appreciated it. “Okay. See you later.”

Renee walked down the hallway, opposite of the way that she knew that they probably would be heading.

“You were amazing out there,” Katelyn remarked as they began walking.

“It was all for you,” Allison replied. Her tone was serious because she was serious. With every point she scored, Allison had a certain cheerleader on her mind.

“Well, I definitely appreciate it,” Katelyn said with a small laugh that made Allison’s insides twist.

“Are things going better with Aaron?” she asked, mentally reminding herself that Katelyn had a boyfriend and thus was very off-limits.

Katelyn shrugged her shoulders. “Not really. I think by now he probably wants to have sex, since we’ve been together for a while, and I really don’t so, yeah, I think he might a bit salty, especially since he knows that it’s not for religious reasons or anything. He hasn’t really been pushing it, though. So I guess it’s not that bad. Most guys are a lot more sex obsessed.”

“But you told him about how you’re trying to figure out your sexuality?”

She shook her head. “No. I don’t want him to freak out and dump me or anything.”

“If he freaks out about it, then you can do much better,” Allison pointed out.

“I know that logically, but it’s still kind of scary,” Katelyn replied.

“He’s your  _ boyfriend _ . You’re supposed to talk about things like this and he’s not supposed to judge you for them,” she reasoned. “If he can’t accept you for who you are, he’s a shit boyfriend as well as a shit friend.”

“But what do I tell him?” she asked, stopping and turning toward Allison.

“Tell him that you might be ace spec,” she suggested. “And that you’re still trying to figure things out.”

“I don’t know if that would be the complete truth though,” Katelyn admitted, sparing a small glance toward Allison’s lips. “What if I find other people interesting? The wrong kind of people?”

Allison took a small step toward her. “There’s nothing wrong with being who you are and liking who you like.”

Katelyn reached up and fiddled with a strand of Allison’s long blonde hair. “This is a bad idea,” she mumbled.

“At the same time, it feels like the best idea yet,” she replied.

“Yeah,” Katelyn breathed.

The cheerleader pushed up off her heels and leaned toward Allison, wrapping his lips in the soft kiss that she had been craving for weeks. Katelyn’s mouth tasted of mint. Allison let herself be backed into a wall as Katelyn licked into her mouth and played with her hair.

After a few minutes, Katelyn pulled away gasping. There was terror in her eyes. “What have I done?” she said, and Allison suspected that the words weren’t meant for her.

Katelyn stared at her for a moment, seeming conflicted, before taking off down the hallway.

“Katelyn, wait!” Allison called, but the other girl didn’t even turn to look back.

Allison leaned her head back against the wall. For a moment, she had everything that she wanted, but mere seconds later, it had all fled her grasp.

* * *

As soon as Allison walked into the door of the apartment, her friends must have seen the dumbfounded look on because they turned off the TV and turned toward her.

“Is something up?” Dan asked, Matt’s arm wrapped around her shoulders.

“We kissed,” she replied.

Dan furrowed her eyebrows. “You kissed who? Please tell me that the answer isn’t Seth.”

“No,” she answered. “Me and Katelyn kissed.”

“Aaron’s Katelyn?” Matt asked. “Like the Katelyn that he is currently dating and is kind of head over heels for.”

Allison nodded. 

“Did they break up?” Renee asked.

“Not that I know of,” she replied. “I doubt that she ran off distraught to immediately go break up with him.”

“Did she say anything to you?” Matt asked. “Like after the kiss was over?”

“She said ‘what have I done’ so that probably doesn’t bode very well,” Allison informed them.

Dan winced. “That really sucks. I’m sorry.”

Renee nodded in agreement. “I know that you really liked her. It must have been really hard to put yourself out there and kiss her like that and it seems like you got the worse possible reaction. I’m proud of you, though. For being so brave.”

“She kissed me,” Allison said with a slight smirk as her mind wandered back to the kiss that they had shared.

“So there’s definitely hope,” Dan said excitedly. “She must have really wanted to kiss you if she made the first move while dating someone. Maybe she just needs time to figure things out.”

“I hope so,” Allison replied. “She seems pretty conflicted though so…”

“Hopefully she texts you soon,” Renee piped in. “I know you don’t believe in God, but I’ll pray for you and maybe He can help your love prevail.”

Allison smiled. “That actually means a lot to me, Renee.”

Renee pushed herself off of the couch and made her way toward Allison, wrapping her tightly in her arms. “That’s what best friends are for.”

And, because Dan and Matt were absolute hug monsters, they joined in, everyone wrapping Allison in a big, warm group hug reminding her that, even if she didn’t have the girl yet, she always had her friends and she was loved.

* * *

Katelyn didn’t text her and she didn’t make it to their next two games, presumably opting to cheer for the boys instead in order to avoid Allison. She couldn’t say that she blamed her much. Katelyn probably regretted cheating on her boyfriend more than anything and the sight of Allison would probably bring all that guilt rushing back to her.

It still made Allison sad, though. Winter break was coming up and the cheerleaders would soon be packing up and going to the bowl game with the football team before returning to their homes for the holiday. The basketball players didn’t really get a break, so Allison would be stuck at Palmetto State, which she didn’t really mind. Her parents kind of sucked.

But the fact remained. Katelyn would be leaving campus for a month then maybe everything would fade away for her. It would be over forever, if it wasn’t already.

“Why are you in here moping?” asked a voice from her doorway.

Allison looked up to see Kevin standing there. She rolled her eyes. “None of your business, Day.”

“It is my business because I want to go to end of semester parties and I have nobody to go with me,” he argued. “Because you’ve been mopey about who knows what.”

“I am not mopey,” she protested.

He raised his eyebrows. “Allison, you haven’t been to a party in weeks and I find you here, wearing  _ sweatpants _ and frowning at your phone, which is just showing a black screen. That’s not the Allison Reynolds I know and admire. If you felt good then you’d be looking hot as fuck and drinking vodka from the bottle.”

She threw her hands up into the air. “Can’t you just let me mope in peace, Kevin?”

“Nope,” he replied. “The football team is throwing a huge fucking party. They even hired a DJ. But unfortunately, they aren’t letting boys in unless there’s at least one girl with them, so I need you, whether you like it or not.”

“Ask Renee. Maybe she’ll take pity on you,” Allison suggested.

“She’s already going with Andrew,” Kevin replied. “Neil gets in automatically as a cheerleader, but he doesn’t get to bring any male guests. Besides, you’re a good friend of mine. I’d rather go with you anyway”

Allison groaned. “Kevin, I just want to eat ice cream out of a carton and watch  _ Real Housewives _ .”

“You’re not 35 yet so don’t act like it. Get your ass out of bed and get dressed,” he ordered. “Besides, you know that the linebackers always bring the best tequila.”

She paused for a moment before nodding. “Fuck, you’re right. Get out of my room. I need to get dressed and I’m not wearing a bra right now.”

He walked out and Allison strutted toward her closet, pulling out the blue dress that she had worn to last year’s basketball banquet. She grabbed her favorite pair of black heels and put everything on before brushing her hair out. She wished she had time to curl it, but by the time the iron got hot, she would be done with her makeup and ready to leave.

* * *

“You look fantastic,” Kevin commented as she walked out into the living room.

“I know,” she replied. “Let’s go.”

The party was a little ways from campus, so they had to take an uber there, seeing as neither of them was going to be able to drive back afterward. Sure enough, there were bouncers standing at the door, but they let them in without a word, seeing as they were both athletes and Allison looked hot as hell.

“Now don’t leave,” Kevin said once they got inside. “I don’t know exactly what you’re going through right now, and to be honest I don’t really care. Whatever it is, you need to get out and have some fun, so make the most of tonight.”

“Have I ever told you that you’re iconic?” she asked him.

“Obviously,” he replied. “Now I’m going to go get me some of that football player tequila.” 

Kevin ran off toward the kitchen, leaving Allison in the middle of the crowded party. She scanned the scene in search of someone to hook up with and her eyes landed on one of the Vixens. She with tanned skin and long black hair. Allison couldn’t quite remember her name, but she figured that it was worth a shot, so she wandered over there.

“Hi! You’re on the Vixens, right?” she asked the girl.

She smiled and pushed her hair over her shoulder. “Yeah! You’re a basketball girl. Allison, right?”

“Yeah,” she said with a smile. “I wish I could say that I remembered your name, but I’m totally blanking right now.”

“Well, they don’t announce each of us every game, so I wouldn’t expect you to remember,” she laughed. “It’s Marissa.”

Allison slapped a hand to her forehead. “And we’re Facebook friends too! How could I forget.”

“It’s really not a big deal. I don’t think we’ve talked before,” Marissa replied.

“Well, I wish that we had,” Allison replied. “You seem like a pretty cool chick, Marissa. I can’t believe I’ve wasted nearly an entire semester not talking to you.”

The tips of her cheeks flushed red. “I’ve had a pretty hectic freshman year. I should have gone to more parties.”

Then, Katelyn appeared out of nowhere. “Marissa, I forgot my key so when we get home-” She stopped and her eyes widened. “Allison?”

Allison gave her a fake smile. “Hi, long time no see.”

She smiled nervously. “Yeah, it’s been a little while, hasn’t it. I’ve just been so busy since I’m a bio major and with cheer and with-”

“And with Aaron,” Allison supplied.

“Yeah,” Katelyn replied softly, looking down at her feet. “That too.”

Allison gestured over her shoulder. “Anyways, I should-”

“You just got here, didn’t you?” Marissa pointed out. “Like you just walked in with Kevin Day.”

“I have to make sure he’s not drinking himself to death,” she lied. Most likely, Kevin  _ was _ getting absolutely trashed, but it was really none of her business and, frankly, she didn’t really care.

Allison walked away from the two cheerleaders, but it wasn’t long until a hand gripped her wrist and pulled her into a slightly less crowded hallway.

“We should talk,” Katelyn suggested. 

She crossed her arms. “I didn’t think that you wanted to, based on the fact that you haven’t been answering my texts.”

“I’ve been so confused since, well you know,” Katelyn told her.

“Since you kissed me,” Allison supplied and Katelyn nodded. “You know, you aren’t going spontaneously combust if you address what happened. You kissed me and it was absolutely fantastic.”

“It was,” she confirmed. “But it’s not fair to Aaron. I mean, he’s my boyfriend and he’s amazing. If I hurt him, I would never forgive myself.”

“You don’t think that stringing him along will hurt more?”

“I’m not stringing him along,” she protested. “I enjoy spending time with him. I really do. It’s just not the same when we kiss. With you, it felt like magic and with Aaron, it just feels uncomfortable. Maybe he’s just a bad kisser. I mean, you’ve probably kissed more people than he has.”

“Or maybe it’s because I’m a girl and he’s a boy,” Allison suggested, willing to voice the thing that she knew that Katelyn wouldn’t dare to say, at least not yet.

“I’m not-” Katelyn mumbled, but she was unable to finish her sentence. “I guess that it’s just something I have to figure out.”

“How is ignoring me helping you to figure it out?” Allison asked. “Because if you’re ignoring me and forcing yourself to spend time solely with him, eventually you’re going to convince yourself that you’re into him, even if it isn’t the truth.”

“I was hoping that if I ignored the entire problem, then it would fade away,” she admitted. “Even though I know it doesn’t work that way.”

“So, don’t ignore me. We should try this, whatever it is,” Allison suggested.

Katelyn bit her lip. “I’ve never been with a girl before.”

“I know,” she replied. “If it’s any consolation, I’ve never been with one either. Not even just for a hookup.”

“Cheating on Aaron is a bad idea,” Katelyn pointed out.

“Tell him that you want to take a break,” she suggested.

“What if I don’t want to do that?” she asked.

“Do you want me?”

Katelyn nodded.

“Fantastic,” Allison replied. “Everything else is up to you. I’m not going to tell you what to do about Aaron. He’s your boyfriend and, to be honest, I wouldn’t even consider him to be one of my friends. It’s not my problem. You’re what? 18? You can deal with it yourself.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You thought I was that young? Allison, I’m 20.”

Allison furrowed her eyebrows. “Aren’t you a freshman?”

“I went to community college for two years,” she explained. “Damn, girl. You were willing to go after a girl two years younger than you?”

“What can I say?” Allison said, running her fingers through the other girl’s soft brown hair. “You’re awfully cute.”

Allison leaned in and pressed a kiss to Katelyn’s lips, but she was pushed away after only a few seconds.

“Are you going to run away from me again?” she asked.

Katelyn chuckled. “I’m not going to run, but Aaron is here somewhere and if he sees us, I’m totally screwed.”

“Hmm you don’t want to get screwed by him, do you?” Allison replied, wrinkling her nose.

“Probably not,” she answered. “I can think of someone else at this party that I want to screw, though.”

“Is she cute?” Allison asked.

“The cutest,” Katelyn breathed.

Then, Katelyn’s phone lit up in her hand. She read the text that she had received and sighed. “It’s Aaron,” she informed Allison.

“What does he want?”

“We came to this party together. He wants to spend time with me,” she replied. “And I’m good at beer pong, so he has to take advantage.”

“God, that sounds hot. Can I watch?” she asked.

Katelyn cocked an eyebrow. “Can you be subtle?” she asked.

“Fair point,” Allison laughed. “Have fun. I’ll see you later. Please actually text me this time.”

“I will,” Katelyn promised. “We need to find a way to be alone sometime so we can actually make out for more than two seconds.”

“That sounds absolutely lovely.”

Katelyn looked around for a second and gave her lips a quick peck before running off to join her boyfriend for beer pong, wherever he may be.

Allison was thrilled to actually have to chance to try and be something with Katelyn, even if she had to share her. Surely she would come to a decision soon and then Allison would know for sure and, so far, things seemed to be pointing in her direction.

* * *

The first night that Katelyn came over to the apartment was her last day on campus for the semester. She would soon be leaving to cheer for the bowl game and they wanted to spend some alone time together before her departure and, since Aaron would be going on the trip with her, he wasn’t fine with her spending time with her “friends.”

She arrived shortly after they had finished dinner, wearing sweats and a Palmetto State cheer t-shirt.

“Hi!” Allison greeted. She was a bit out of breath, as she had sprinted across the apartment to answer the door before Renee or Dan could get there.

“Hey,” Katelyn replied as she slipped inside and gently closed the door behind her.

Dan came out of who knows where and shoved herself between them. “Hi, Katelyn. I hear that you and Allison have started hanging out, and I trust that you are very careful with her.”

God, she was embarrassing. Just because she was the team captain didn’t mean that she also had to act like she was some better, kinder version of Allison’s mom.

“Hi Katelyn!” Renee said cheerily from the other side of the room.

“Hello, everyone,” Katelyn replied, laughing nervously.

“Are you hungry?” Renee asked. “We have some leftover soup in the fridge. It’s homemade split pea.”

“Thanks, but I just ate,” Katelyn answered with a smile.

“Let’s go to my room,” Allison suggested. “Where I have a door that locks.”

Katelyn nodded frantically and Allison pulled her across her apartment. They went inside her bedroom and locked the door behind them. Katelyn flopped onto the bed, laying on her stomach while Allison rolled her desk chair in front of her and sat down so that they were facing each other.

“So, are you excited for the bowl game and going home?” Allison asked, reaching forward to run her fingers through the other girl’s hair.

“Not really,” Katelyn admitted. “I’m going to miss you.”

“But you’ll have Aaron for the bowl game,” Allison pointed out.

She looked down at the bed for a moment. “Can we not talk about him when I’m here, in your bed?” she requested. “You know that I’m here to spend time with you. Let’s not make it about him. It makes me feel like absolute shit.”

“I’m sorry,” Allison said softly. 

“It’s fine,” Katelyn replied, looking back up toward her.

“So, what do you want to do?” Allison asked. “It’s your last night here, so you decide.”

She stared up at the ceiling for a moment, humming in contemplation. “We could watch a movie and cuddle,” Katelyn suggested.

“Sounds boring,” Allison hummed.

She turned to glare at her and Allison couldn’t stay serious.

“I’m kidding, babe,” she told her girlfriend. “It sounds perfect.”

Katelyn’s apparent grumpiness didn’t fade. “You’re ridiculous, Allison Reynolds,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“Actually, I’m funny and you love it,” she asserted.

Katelyn shrugged and turned away, so Allison reached for her chin and gently pulled her face back toward her, revealing a reluctant smile. 

“Maybe a little bit,” Katelyn mumbled.

Allison leaned forward and pecked her lips. “Let’s find a movie then.”

* * *

The break didn’t turn out to be that bad. Even though Katelyn was gone, Allison had her team with her and they were practically like sisters. They played a few games, losing only their game against USC. It was fun, though. Renee knew a few of the USC girls through Jean and they came over to party after.

Renee and Matt went to their respective homes for Christmas, but Dan and Allison both stayed. It was just the two of them, but it was one of Allison’s best Christmases ever. Dan was more family to her than her parents ever could be.

It was New Year’s Eve now and the team had returned, as they had a tournament at UNC on the second. Despite their upcoming game, they decided to spend the night partying. They could nurse their hangovers and sleep on the bus.

Allison flipped through her closet to find the perfect dress, eventually settling for a short white one that was a bit glittery. There was nothing like a little bit of sparkle to bring in the new year.

She did her makeup and finished her hair as quickly as she could before following her friends out the door, who were slightly annoyed at her for taking so long to get ready. They had plenty of time until midnight, so she didn’t get why they were so pissy.

The party was in Kevin’s apartment and he had promised that Seth wasn’t invited, so Allison was ready to get wasted and hang out with her friends. God bless Renee for being the permanent designated driver.

When they got there, Allison made a beeline for the kitchen. She wanted tequila since she knew Nicky always got a bottle of the good stuff from his shitty parents for Christmas in the hope that he’d magically turn straight, as if that made any fucking sense.

She poured herself some and then felt a tap on her shoulder, turning around to find Kevin standing before her. “You came!” he exclaimed.

Allison pointed to her glass. “Do you think I’d miss something like this?”

“Fair point,” he laughed. “Have you spoken to Aaron yet?”

“Aaron?” Allison asked, raising an eyebrow. “I just got here and I literally have no reason to ever talk to him in my life.”

“Well, he was looking for you. Seemed to be pretty important,” Kevin said with a shrug.

Important? That meant that Katelyn had probably told him. Or maybe he had found there texts. God, she hadn’t said anything. Was she okay?

“Where is he?” Allison asked, concerned for her girlfriend’s well-being. Aaron always did seem like a massive fucking douche to her, even though they never really spoke much.

“Uhhhh,” Kevin started furrowing his brows pensively. “I think he was in the living room last I saw him? Oh wait, that could’ve been Andrew. I can only tell the difference when I’m sober or talking to them.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re useless, Kevin.”

“I am  _ not  _ useless,” he argued.

“You know what, you’re right,” she said with a nod. “You were useful when I was taking U.S. History 1010. After that? Who knows.”

He gave her the middle finger, but she flipped her hair over her shoulder and strutted out of the room in search of Aaron Minyard.

It was, in fact, Andrew in the living room rather than Aaron. He was sitting on the couch with his arm around Neil’s shoulder in a way that seemed more protective than cuddly.

“Have you seen your brother?” she asked him.

Andrew stared at her and didn’t say a word. Allison didn’t know whether that was a good or bad sign. Usually he’d at least say  _ something _ , but if he knew that she had hurt Aaron by stealing his girlfriend, she’d probably have a knife in her gut right now.

“He was headed toward his room last I saw him,” Neil informed her. 

She smiled. “Thank you, Neil.”

Allison made her way toward the bedrooms, but stopped when she almost ran right smack into someone who was leaving the bathroom. It was Aaron.

“I need to speak with you,” he said, not a trace of emotion in his voice.

She nodded. “Yeah, I heard. I was looking for you.”

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his bedroom, locking the door behind them. Either he was about to drop the biggest secret in the world or he was going to murder her. She took note of where the windows were just in case she needed to make a hasty exit.

“What is it?” she asked him, even though she already knew what it probably was.

“I need you to convince Katelyn to break up with me,” he sighed. “I know about the two of you and I love her, but you make her more happy than I ever could.”

“It’s not your fault she likes girls, Aaron,” Allison reminded him. 

“It’s more than that,” he said. “Even if she was into guys, I would never be able to make her happy. I love Katelyn more than anything, but I have no desire to have sex with her, or anyone for that matter. I tried to pretend for her, but she didn’t really want it either, so I guess that worked itself out. But back to the point, I’m already halfway to my destiny of being alone and bitter, so I should just let her go and be happy.”

“Why can’t you break up with her then?” Allison asked.

“Because I don’t like to look weak and if I broke up with her, she’d know how much it hurts before I even got the words out,” Aaron replied. “Besides, I don’t want to make her feel guilty. I couldn’t give her what she needed, so she found it somewhere else. I don’t blame her for that.”

“It’s okay to be upset that she cheated,” she said. “Hell, you should be pissed at me right now.”

He shook his head. “Look, Allison, I’m not all that mad. I’m more sad than anything. Just do this for me. Convince her to break up with me. Then we’ll be square.”

She nodded. “Okay. I’ll do it. Hopefully she’ll listen to me.”

“Thank you,” Aaron said with a half smile.

Allison nodded and started toward the door, but turned around before she could twist the knob. “Aaron?”

“Yes?” he replied.

“One day you’re going to find someone that you love and they’re going to love you just as much. And they won’t care about sex, as long as they can have you.”

He nodded without a word and she walked back to the party with two missions on her mind. One wouldn’t be possible until Katelyn returned for the new semester. The other one was getting more tequila.

* * *

Allison arranged for Katelyn to come over as soon as she got back from break and, to be honest, she was nervous as hell. Katelyn would be back on January 16th and then they’d talk and she would break up with Aaron. After that, it would just be the two of them. Their relationship wouldn’t be a secret any longer. Everything would be more real.

That should be exciting for her, but Allison was actually kind of terrified. Everything with Katelyn had felt like a dream. She didn’t want it to turn gritty and real like her mess of a relationship with Seth had been. She knew that Katelyn was better than him, but she also knew that she was as much to blame for their problems as Seth was. Allison didn’t want to hurt Katelyn.

She tried to shake it off. It was a game night and, althought she would be seeing Katelyn in mere hours, her head needed to be firmly focused on basketball. They were playing Edgar Allen, which made winning all the more important, since their schools had a weird rivalry that was probably more fierce than their official rivalry against the University of South Carolina.

Dan drew them together for the team meeting before the game. “We need to win tonight. If we can beat Edgar Allen, then we’re pretty much set to make playoffs unless we get crushed by the small teams up ahead.”

“We can beat them,” Renee said. “We’ve been practicing so hard. This is our game. I can feel it in my soul. All we have to do is get out there and do the very best that we can do.”

Allison smiled, forcing all thoughts of Katelyn to the back of her brain. “We’re going to kick their sorry asses.”

As they finished their pre-game ritual, each and every one of the Foxes had determination in their eyes. The court was going to be running red with Raven blood tonight.

The Ravens seemed just as determined. They were trained to mask any and all emotion, but it showed on the court. Both teams were out to win and neither was afraid to play dirty to do it. By the end of the third quarter, each team had at least three girls who had completely fouled out of the game. Allison wasn’t one of them, but she was pretty damn close.

Renee, who didn’t have a single foul to her name, was a goddess on the court. She played the aggression of the Ravens against them, dodging past them as they crashed into one another, which only made them angrier.

Dan hadn’t fouled out either. She was the captain and she knew how to keep her fouls reasonable. She knew that she couldn’t play if she lost her cool and fouled out, so she held strong on the court.

Allison, however, was fine will potentially fouling out if it meant that the Ravens got what they deserved. They were assholes, on and off the court, and they shouldn’t be able to get away with their bullshit.

They were neck and neck and the clock was ticking down. Allison ran up and down the court as the Foxes scored then nobody did then the Ravens scored then the scored again and then nothing, nothing, nothing.

Timeout Foxes. There were ten seconds left on the clock and they were down two. It was now or never, and Dan brought them in to come up with a game plan.

“Listen up, girls,” Dan panted. She was out of breath. They all were at this point, but that didn’t mean they were about to give up. “Tying it up is our priority. Get in close and make an easy shot. We’re running arctic 4. Allison, you’re going to take the shot. I’ll set the pick. Got it?”

“Got it,” chorused the other four girls who were finishing out the game.

Dan smiled. “We’ve put in our everything today. We’ll tie it up now and, after out, we’re winning this bitch.”

The team cheered, causing some of the Ravens to look toward them in what seemed like annoyance, since they were obviously unfamiliar with the concept of human joy and excitement.

Taking their places on the court, each girl was there to win. Dan passed the ball to Renee, who weaved her way down the court as fast as she could, stopping at the top of the key. The ball went from player to player until it fell back into Renee’s hands, who passed it to Allison, who was standing just outside the top left of the key.

Jenkins, the girl guarding her, began barreling toward her, intent on keeping her out of good shot range. Dan was running in to set the pick, but Allison didn’t wait for her.

She planted her feet and shot the ball from outside the key. Then a full body slammed into her and she fell backward, sharp pain shooting up her right leg. She heard cheering erupt from the crowd and smiled through the agonizing feeling in her leg.

Then the pain truly took hold and everything turned to black.

* * *

Allison woke up in an ambulance, Dan and Renee standing over her. Her leg didn’t hurt anymore. In fact, she couldn’t really feel it at all.

“What the fuck?” she mumbled.

“You got hurt at the game,” Renee informed her. “They’ve injected you with some anesthetic. Oh, and we won by the way!”

Dan crossed her arms. “You shouldn’t have taken that fucking shot. Now we’re going to be down our best forward for the rest of the season and for the playoffs if we make it.”

Renee glared at Dan for a moment. “Dan, she’s hurt. We need to be sympathetic right now. You can yell at her later, once she’s all fixed up.”

“No, I deserve it,” Allison replied. “It was a hasty move and I didn’t listen to her. If I did we’d still be playing, but I’d be fine.”

“It was a fucking amazing shot,” Dan admitted. “People are going to be talking about it for a while. Besides, it was Jenkins fault that you got hurt, not yours. She fouled you. Majorly. I think the league is going to be having some words with her soon. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s suspended for the next couple of games.”

“How are you feeling?” butted in one of the paramedics. Oh right, those were probably the people that she should be talking to.

“I’m  _ not  _ feeling,” she replied. “It’s weird, but kind of wonderful at the same time.”

“The paramedic nodded. “Good. We’ll be at the hospital momentarily. You know, your friends here weren’t supposed to be in the ambulance with you, but they wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Fuck biology,” Allison said. “They’re my sisters. Through and through.”

“Fuck legality too,” another paramedic mumbled, earning a fierce glare from Dan, which shut him up fast.

The arrived at the hospital and she was rushed in through the emergency room while her friends stayed back in the waiting room.

“You’re lucky we aren’t busy tonight,” said the grumpy paramedic. “You’re conscious now, which puts you fairly low on our list of priorities.”

“Just fix my fucking leg,” she grumbled.

“We need to take x-rays first,” the other paramedic reminded her and she groaned. This was going to take for-fucking-ever. So much for hanging out with Katelyn tonight.

She was right. They did x-rays and then it was onto surgery and, by the time she got done, it had to be nearly four in the morning, which meant visiting hours had ended a long time ago. It was fine. She just wanted to sleep it off anyway. Her friends could wait until the morning.

* * *

Allison woke up to a full room. Matt, Dan, and Renee had probably shown up right as visiting hours began. Coach Winfield stood there, seeming concerned. Hell, even Kevin had come. And finally, Katelyn was sitting in the corner, sipping out of a coffee cup.

“No offense,” Allison said before pointing toward Katelyn. “But, like, can everyone except her leave for a moment?”

Since she was injured, they obeyed her. She wondered how long she would be able to milk that kind of power. Katelyn made her way toward the hospital bed.

Renee, being the last to leave, stopped at the doorway. “I’ll try to hold off the nurse until you’re done. I’m sure she probably wants to talk to you about your pain level among other things.”

She walked out and gently closed the door behind her, leaving the two girls alone.

“How do you feel, babe?” Katelyn asked, brushing a strand of blond hair away from Allison’s face.

“Fine,” she replied with a shrug. “I could use some more meds, but not urgently. We can talk first.”

“Allison if you’re hurting-” Katelyn began.

“No,” she interrupted. “I really want to talk first.”

Katelyn nodded. “So, how bad is it?”

“My ankle pretty much got shattered,” she said with a sigh. “I’m out for the year. Next season I should be good, though.”

“Good. You deserve to play your senior year,” Katelyn replied. “You know, it sucks that you got hurt, but that was an awesome shot.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You were there? I thought you weren’t getting in until late last night.”

“I wanted to surprise you after the game,” she looked toward Allison’s cast. “It didn’t exactly work out.”

“I’m sorry,” Allison said.

“Don’t apologize,” Katelyn insisted. “We’re together now, and that’s what counts.”

“Are we?” Allison asked, remembering her promise to Aaron. She had to get Katelyn to break up with him.

“Yeah, we are,” Katelyn replied, reaching for Allison’s hand. “It’s you and me, babe. You know that.”

“Not officially, though,” she clarified. “Like I want to be able to scream it out loud. I love Katelyn Fortini and she loves me.”

“You can scream it all you want, Allison,” Katelyn replied. “I know I’ll be screaming it right alongside you.”

“But what about-” she began.

“I broke up with Aaron last night,” she confessed. “After the game, I saw you being rushed to the hospital. It helped me to put everything into perspective and to realize what was really important. And that’s us. He was surprisingly okay with it. I think, deep down, he knew.”

“Not even deep down,” Allison chuckled. “He came to me on New Year’s Eve and asked me to convince you to break up with him. Apparently, he didn’t have the heart to do it himself. He wanted what was best for you, though. That caught me completely off-guard.”

“Really?” she asked.

“I mean, he always seemed like kind of an ass,” Allison shrugged.

“Aaron is actually a great guy if you get to know him,” Katelyn told her. “And not just because he’s my ex.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Allison replied. She knew Katelyn was right about him, but she was wrong about him before and she wasn’t about to actually admit to it.

“So, me and him are over,” she summarized. “And on top of that, I came out to my family over break. They were actually super supportive and they want to meet you someday. So now…”

Allison grinned. “Now it’s just us.”

“It was always supposed to be just us. I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize that,” Katelyn said with a smile. “I love you, Allison Jamaica Reynolds.”

“That’s not fair!” she exclaimed. “I don’t know your middle name.”

Katelyn crossed her arms. “Well, obviously you don’t care about me, so I guess it’s over.”

She pointed to her injured ankle. “I’m not in prime condition. You can’t harass me while I’m like this! It’s just unfair”

“I don’t have a middle name,” Katelyn answered with a roll of her eyes.

“In that case, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I love you, Katelyn Fortini!” she exclaimed.

“The basketball player and the cheerleader. I guess we’re kind of a cliché,” Katelyn laughed. “I should’ve seen it coming from a mile away.”

“Sure, we’re the cliché, but we’re also both girls,” Allison pointed out. “That makes it, like, a million times better.”

Katelyn shrugged. “Well, I can’t argue with that kind of genius logic.”

“Glad we agree,” Allison said. “Now, I’m going to need the nurse in a hot second, so you’re going to have to get down here and kiss me while we’re still alone.”

“How could a resist such a lovely request?” Katelyn asked with a soft smile.

She leaned down and pressed their lips together, and it was like a burst of electricity was coursing through Allison’s veins. While they were kissing, her ankle didn’t hurt one bit. It was probably just the adrenaline or something, but she felt amazing.

Allison’s relationship with Seth had been so suffocating for her. She was so worried about being the girl he wanted while trying to fix him into the guy that she wanted. With Katelyn, it was different. Their relationship was what allowed them to truly be themselves. For the first time in her life, Allison Jamaica Reynolds truly felt free.


End file.
